Percy Harvin to Face Old Team This Weekend

Percy Harvin was once a Viking prince. He ruled the seas in Minnesota (see: lakes) and was the smallest package providing the largest punch rarely seen. But he looked at the roster led by Christian Ponder, asked "WAT?" and decided he needed to cut bait. After playing his heart out, putting his body on the […]

small vikings poster

At Least This Vikings Poster Looks Cool

Listen man, I get it. The Vikings aren't doing to well this year. It's a sad story and one almost unwatchable. But that doesn't mean EVERYTHING about the Vikings is awful. We still have Adrian Peterson, and he's pretty cool. We once had Chris Kluwe, and I like him. Speaking of leg guys, despite an […]

chester marcol packers

History Lesson: Packers Drug Addict Kicker Wins Game in OT

Ever hear about this one? Back in 1980, the two stupidest NFL franchises in history were facing each other in a crappy back and forth game that was tied 6-6 as it went into overtime. Some people will say it was a "defensive struggle", but let's not be cute, here. It was a crap fest […]

adrian peterson redskins 2013

PJD’s Game 9 Recap: Winning is the New Losing

Winning is the New Losing We finally did it, everyone! We won our first game on American soil in 2013. We won a game on a national telecast. We totally turned the fortunes of this franchise around by winning one meaningless game against another poor opponent at home that we probably should have beat anyway. […]

Vikings Tanking Analysis: Is One Game Really Worth It?

We'll get to our full blown game recap with all the Shirtless analysis, Mushroom Stamp award winners, haikus, and everything else no one has come to love throughout the years, but I neither have the time to give you what you want or the sobriety, so instead I want to pose a little question to […]

shirtless christian ponder

Masturbatory Vikings Game 9 Preview: R-Words vs. V-Words

ALL THE SWEARS! When the "super popular" primetime Thursday night game finally rolls around this week, and only 15 people will be able to watch it on the NFL Network, what they will see is a spectacle of offensiveness. It will feature two teams with derogatory nicknames brutally beating each other. So you have Native […]

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Acting Cordial: Talking R-Words vs. Vikings with Redskins Hog Heaven

Whoa, we are playing another game already? What is this, Big XII football? I thought they only played on Thursday nights. No! Instead, it's "actual" NFL football between a couple of flailing teams when the derogatory R-Words come to Minnesota to face an injured Vikings team. It looks like football, but whenever the Vikings play, […]

tony romo cheater

Of Course the Vikings Lost, Tony Romo Cheated!

As we've already reviewed, the Vikings lost to the Cowboys last weekend despite playing fairly decently. The whole thing seemed rather odd, didn't it? I mean, the Vikings play probably their best game of the year, against a – by definition – mediocre Cowboys team, and they end up losing? The law of averages says […]

adrian peterson cowboys 2013

PJD’s Game 8 Recap: The Return of the Crap

Mark Morrison REMIX! As Christian Ponder threw the DEEPEST ball possible he could in his entire life, and watched as it fluttered 30 yards deep and then died at the five yard line to become the the farting balloon flying across the room someone let go at a birthday party of Hail Mary's in the […]


PJD’s Game Thread: Vikings vs. Cowboys

Welcome to another Purple Jesus Diaries Game Thread! Join us as we talk randomly about how awful the team is this week, how bad the play calling is, and how much we can't wait for the 2014 draft. If you want to do something stupid though, like live in the moment, and "still cheer the […]

adrian peterson Halloween 2012

Masturbatory Vikings Game 8 Preview: Half Way to Suckville

Halfway to Suckville WHOA. When the hell did this happen? Did you realize it's November today? And we're already halfway through the NFL season? Well … Halfway through the Minnesota Vikings NFL season, because they are only playing the requisite 16 games this year, no additional appearances with the playoffs, or Super Bowl, or anything […]

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Photoshopped Minnesota Vikings Players are Terrifying

Happy Halloween from the Minnesota Vikings! If your pants aren't soiled yet, they will be after you browse and vote for your favorite Vikings player photoshopped into real-life, terrifying Halloween costumes. Aside from the clear winner highlighted up top in Phil Loadholt 'shopped up as the Predator (Do I sense a new nickname?), there are […]

samantha ponder swim suit

Samantha Ponder is Wendy Peffercorn and Not Much Else Matters

Hey. It's been a REAL rough go for Christian Ponder this season. Dude was suppose to finally break into his own as the starting quarterback, take the next step, and make this team legitimate playoff contenders. But then the defense forgot how to defense, he got blamed for it all, and he lost his starting […]

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Do the Vikings Win More Games if Leslie Frazier Changes His Face?

So, this Minnesota Vikings season sucks. It's REAL bad. The team is bad, the staff is bad, everything is just bad and not fun and they just can't tear the Metrodome down fast enough. Naturally, when fans have to live through this type of crap experience we start questioning what changes need to be made […]

peterson haiku packers 2013


The Vikings Suck The Vikings suck. The Minnesota Vikings are a terrible football team. The Vikings play bad football. The Minnesota Vikings have a collection of bad coaches. The Vikings are terrible on offense. The Vikings don't have a quarterback who can play the game. The Minnesota Vikings may be the worst team in the […]