Want to see what the future of the Minnesota Vikings looks like? Watch this!
Oh sweet Lord. Are you at full mast right now? Me too. Let’s talk about it.
- OH MAH GAWD. That deep ball right away at the 0:13 mark? The little shoulder twitch/fake to throw off the defender and then a quarterback who actually throws the ball deeper than 10 yards to a receiver? Amazing! What is this madness?! I could get use to it.
- The immediate play after, you see him breaking the huddle off the play on a play-fake, doing a full blown Andrew Luck or something, even a little Brett Favre steelo, where he drops almost completely behind the offensive line and disappears, then pops back up and throws. Straight magic trick.
- He also shows a propensity to hit his receivers high, which in certain instances can be terrifying if your receiver is going over the middle against Ed Reed or something, but when he’s hitting receivers high on the sidelines, that’s typically a good thing. Letting your guy go up and get it, knowing that they actually have a chance? That’s quarterback competency we haven’t seen since 2009, right?
- NNNFFFFF. That TD throw at 1:20? ALL MY BLOOD.
- 2:38 throw to Cordarrelle Patterson. PREPARE YOUR BODY FOR THE FUTURE!
- 2:57 … Anthony Barr barreling down on Teddy Touchdown (Barr looks god damn terrifying there, too, by the way), and Teddy is like “LOL, NOPE”, steps up into the pocket and gets out of danger like it ain’t no thing. That’s a new experience for a Vikings quarterback too, isn’t it?
OK. Hope I’ve talked your down a bit from arousal. If you’re still experiencing stiffness, try lighting a match, blowing it out, and placing the embers on your wrist. The pain will distract your mind from your arousal, and hopefully you’ll be able to stand up at work now.