wonka arm chair gm

Understanding Vikings Free Agency Roster Moves Through Popular Memes

This Percy Trade is bad

On Monday, the Minnesota Vikings traded wide receiver Percy Harvin and, I don't know man, my world just kind of exploded. We're really doing this? We're trading one of the top players in the NFL, a known commodity, for "potential"? For draft picks? For a bunch of rookie players that we think are going to step into starting roles and not miss a beat? What the hell, man? Did Percy roll you a blunt before he left? That's the only explanation for why you're not ice scooping your eyes out right now. Oh, but that wasn't it!

Then they decided AJ Jefferson or Marcus Sherels was cool enough to hold down cornerback, so they released Antoine Winfield. That was also amazingly the same moment when I died a little bit on the inside, never learning to love again. They also re-signed Jerome Simpson for some odd reason, were able to nab Phil Loadholt and his mountain size, Jerome Felton the Bulldozer, Erin Henderson, and on, and on, and on … I can barely even think right now.

But that's fine, because maybe we're not supposed to understand everything perfectly. And if we need to try, that's where we now chime in and explain to you what all of these moves mean through popular internet memes. Hopefully by the end of this, we'll get a better understanding of what the Vikings are trying to do. But probably not, LOL!

Hit the jump to begin the enlightenment:

If you were a big Percy Harvin fan, you may be experiencing feelings of broken trust, as Percy was supposed to be the next great Minnesota Vikings wide receiver like Randy Moss or Cris Carter. Instead, he ditched us for a state that sells weed. These feelings are normal:

Trust you percy

After the Harvin trade, you may have also turned to your closet and noticed that you're all of a sudden down one more authentic Vikings jersey, because you just HAD to invest in that fresh looking #12. Don't worry, others feel your pain:

First World Vikings Problems

But hey, this had to lead to something bigger, right? Like, something CRAZY! Maybe we got that extra first round draft pick so we could turn it around and go bonkers, right?! Like trade for Larry Fitzgerald, Jr., right??!!!

Conspiracy Keanu Harvin

No, not right. Stop being silly. And instead things just got worse. You were alerted that to free up some more cap space the Vikings had released your one-time true love and one of the greatest Vikings of all time in Antoine Winfield. You probably then looked at the Vikings defensive backfield depth chart and thought to yourself the following, which you would have been totally justified in thinking:

Antoine Winfield Meme

But then free agency started. Hurray! The Vikings are going to sign all the players!

Sign All the Players

Except that's not how this works, is it?

Boromir NFL Free Agency

No, of course not. Vikings GM Rick Spielman instead played things close to the vest. He started by signing Jerome Simpson to a one year deal, acting thus far as their big wide receiver free agent splash. You probably were less than impressed, correct?

Angry Cat

That's OK. They followed it up with re-signing of Phil Loadholt, which was kind of a big deal. Bringing him back helped solidify the offensive line for years to come, even if the price tag ended up being a bit high. But, hey, I can deal with it:

Obama Not Bad Phil Loadholt

From there though, the rest of the day was a blur. As mentioned, players like Jerome Felton, and Erin Henderson were also signed back to the team, while the window was actually left open for Winfield to also return at a lesser amount, which obviously isn't going to happen. And while we're all sitting here thinking that maybe Greg Jennings also wants to sign with us, I think we can also say that likely won't happen and that you'll get upset again and, hey, that's OK, man. No worries. I'm sure you have it all figured out:

So there's your first day of NFL free agency for the Vikings. Probably doesn't feel to good, but forced entry rarely is an enjoyable experience. Just sit back and take it.


About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.