We Made It!
We did it! Sure, I mean we won our game last night versus the Titans, our first and only preseason win, but moreso I mean we finally made it! We survived all of the crap that people made us put up with during this preseason and ridiculous training camps and Joe Webb conversations and punching your eyeballs from watching Christian Ponder and oh god, it's over. No more August football. August football is both the best and the worst at the same time. It's so lame. It's so boring. It just goes on FOREVER. I feel like the first preseason game was played and analyzed a billion weeks and times ago. But no more. In one more week (more like a week and a half, really …) we get to see REAL football – that matters! – and THEN we can start skewering Ponder for his lackluster play! Unless he proves us wrong, of course. I can't wait.
Mushroom Stamp of Approval:
There were actually several surprise performances in this final preseason game against the Titans, but Thursday's game paired with the third game was really the coming out (in a no-homo way) party for Desmond Bishop wearing purple. He was a crazy man last week, and then he came out and played the first one or two defensive series and led the team in tackles. He was ridiculous, man. He plowed through the Titans starting offensive line like he was a Packers fan at a cheese curds stand. It was awesome. I think it's safe to say he locked the job up going into the regular season, and it's going to make the cuts at linebacker pretty interesting.
Nipples and Notes:
It's late, and I don't want to stay up until sunrise writing this, so I'm going to quick-hit you with some notes from the game like they were a laser slant pass from Christian Ponder to alligator arm Stephen Burton:
– Is it me, or has Blair Walsh looked a little janky this preseason? He's missed a couple of kicks that were relatively close, and he's missed them bad. YIKES. Think of all those people that drafted him in the 6th round of their fantasy leagues? Whoops.
– I've decided I'm calling Gerald Hodges "Ghost Backer" from now on, because he apparently tied Desmond Bishop in tackles on Thursday, but I haven't seen him make a single play this entire preseason. Not a one. Partially it's because I forget about him, but then when I do remember he's on the team, I zero in on him, and he does nothing for that play. But there he is in the box score, doing well. GHOST BACKER!
– Likewise, Audie Cole looked better tonight and Michael Mauti continued his strong play. Deciding on linebackers is going to be pretty tricky.
– Matt Cassel and McLeod Bethel-Thompson showed everyone more than anything Ponder has shown this preseason, right? I sure felt that way. In fairness, sure, it was against back ups (except for Cassel!), and whatever, but I'm talking more so in just the touch when needed, zip on the pass when needed, ball placement, pocket presence, etc. All of it looked WAY superior to anything Ponder has done so far this preseason. And yeah, that's kind of bothersome.
– Marcus Sherels made a name for himself again. That kickoff return was wild, and his interception looked like he took a bullet to the chest. Way to take one for the team though, little buddy! Much appreciated.
– If you had to pick between Toby Gerhart, Matt Asiata, and Joe Banyard without knowing a thing about these guys except for seeing just how they play the game, you'd have to take Gerhart last, wouldn't you? Both of the other guys have shown great shiftiness (So shifty!) and cut back ability that Gerhart has NEVER shown. And for much less on the dollar, too. He's not even good at what he's supposed to be good at, either, that being a third down blocking back who excels at short yardage. In fact, he's AWFUL at gaining short yards. I have no idea why he's on this team.
– We had our PJD Fantasy Football draft last night during the game. Out of 12 teams, I think 8 of us showed up. Maybe less. FOR SHAME other nerds. Attendance should be a requirement for next year's league acceptance. If you don't draft your own team, you get a finger chopped off. Seems fair.
Preseason game four –
At least trot Ponder out here
To look at his butt.
Alright, enough of this. Let's cut some 20-odd players from the team and get ready to play some football. Who do you think makes the cut?