Nowhere to Hide
So the Minnesota Vikings just got demolished on Monday Night Football, and, whatever, no one cares. The only bad thing about this team losing at this point is that it's probably hurting Purple Jesus' feelings, and we just can't be having that, you jerks. Everything else about them losing on Monday Night Football, though? GREAT. No, really, hear me out.
For so long, Minnesota fans have been punching themselves in the nuts because they know how bad Christian Ponder has been, how stupid Bill Musgrave's play calling is, how infuriating Leslie Frazier is as a coach, and so many other deep rooted, functionally WRONG things with this team. The smart fans here know that this team has a lot of damn talent (it really does, much better than this), and that there needs to be a new coach and a legit quarterback. And lots of other stuff. But point being, now everyone else knows it, too.
Listening to Gruden and Tirico absolutely eviscerate the Vikings on national TV has convinced me more than ever that Leslie Frazier and his entire coaching staff is out the door, and these comments were SO bad last night, I'm not sure if Frazier even lasts until the end of the year. It's that ugly. And it's all deserved.
So, no more hiding, Vikings bros. You just got exposed as a laughing stock franchise on Monday Night Football. And there's no escaping it. We still have two more nationally broadcasted games this year, so things are only going to get worse. So enjoy that, everyone who hates themselves.
Mushroom Stamp of Disapproval
Blame everyone. Everyone sucks. More than anything, blame the coaches. Frazier is fired, Musgrave shouldn't even be coaching JV teams (why would you want him to ruin their lives?), Alan Williams is NEVER anywhere to be seen but deserves a ton of blame, too. But giving them a stamp week after week for this atom bombed season is going to be super boring. So I need to blame a player. Full disclosure, this player doesn't deserve a stamp, but they get it anyway. I don't know, this week, let's give it to Jerome Simpson who dropped an awesome bomb-throw from Freeman that would have brought the team back to within three points in the second half. Any respectable receiver would have caught that ball, BUT NOT SIMPSON! This guy, man …
Nipples and Notes
I'm not doing a full recap on a Monday night for this poop-mouth team. Instead, here are a couple of notes about just how bad our team is:
– You're going to let Adrian Peterson finish the game with 13 carries, 28 yards? How do you still have a job, coaches?
– Marvin Mitchell sure played his heart out like he was on a 1-5 NFL team!
– Jared Allen actually probably played one of his better games this season. Thing is, even if he ends up playing well, the rest of the defense AND the offense is so bad that his impact isn't felt. Regardless, he'd be a nice player for a Super Bowl contender. So glad we traded him for some late draft picks instead of just letting him walk this off-sea …. Oh. Nevermind.
– Shariff Floyd WHY U DO THIZ? *fumbles kick off return* … *why are you returning a kick anyway?*
– Marcus Sherels was the best player on the Vikings Monday night. How the hell does that ever happen?
– Greg Jennings must be happy with his money. I can think of no other reason for him to keep showing up to the team facilities, otherwise.
– So Josh Freeman didn't really look any better. Not much more to say about that.
"So, tell me AP,
It's not like the Vikings are
Always this bad, right? ……"
EMBRACE THE SUCK. I think we found our 2013 t-shirts. I'll get right to work on them.