It's been a year and a fortnight (I don't know what that actually measures) since we last checked in on the PJD fantasy football league. Truth be told, it was WAY BACK in week 2, and if I were a betting man, I'd throw stripper dollars at the bet saying that nothing has really changed. Meaning? This league, where people are fighting tooth and nail to win a FREE Purple Jesus Diaries t-shirt, are acting like a bunch of CHILDREN expecting their wins to come to them, without even having to set a proper lineup during the bye weeks. YOU ANIMALS. WHAT IS THIS SAVAGERY?! FIX YOUR MIND.
There's been other stuff going on in fantasy football too. Here it is:
Game of the Week
There were a handful of sweet tickle sessions that got pretty exciting in Week 6 of our fantasy league. Week 6 is starting to separate the gems from the turds in this league, as I'm sure is typical in many 12 team leagues. As such, close games in the middle of the year like this can BREAK YOUR SPINE hypothetically, especially when you don't bother touching your line up if you have a player on a bye week. No one is more guilty of that this week than "Sacks and the City" who failed to remove Julio Jones from her line up for some one on her bench, even someone crappy, like Kendall Wright. She does that simple move and BOOM!, goes from a one point loss against a now 5-1 team to a 5 point win over just another dumb 4-2 squad. Now, we have to put up with Naked Dudes running his mouth again, thinking he's actually a good team in this league when – my god – he starts Phillip Rivers. Come on.
Because of these juvenile tactics, it leaves us with a pretty even split across the board, talent wise. Viktor's Weed Guy claims the top spot in the "SAMANTHA PONDER'S PANTIES" division with a 5-1 record, while the aforementioned Naked Dudes continues to think he's awesome scoring 532 points in the season thus far (that's only 6th best). Cheeseheads and I (The Okra Patches) both call bullshit, as we're the only two teams in the league who has had over 600 points scored AGAINST us this season. I have a winning record though, so stuff it, Wisconsin.
Other teams of note, Very Tight Butthole is not managing his team very tightly. Despite his 16 waiver moves (2nd most in the league) he's sitting at a 1-5 record. Surprise teams like Romosexual and Wilfork on 1st Date are still in the mix, with a 3-3 and 4-2 record in their division, respectively. I don't know what the hell happened to the Bluefin Bandits, except to guess that he changed up his team icon, and that's pretty sweet, I guess.
Funny Summary of the Week
I'm learning more and more about this Yahoo! Sports summary for fantasy football, and every detail just slays me. This week, I found out that they produce an automated recap for EACH MATCH UP during the week, on top of the summary for the entire league. The above piece caught my eye in my team's match up against Cheeseheads. Notice particularly the red squared piece at the end. Oh man … ALWAYS blowing through Naked Dudes.
More Fantasy Dreams
– Defenses have been weird as hell this fantasy season. Why are the Chiefs good?! This makes no sense.
– It should be noted that ONLY ViQueen and Cheeseheads have not made a waiver wire move. Coincidentally, both teams have a 2-4 record. Are they just bad at drafting? Possibly!
– Is it freaking anyone else out that Tony Romo is like the second best fantasy quarterback this year? I don't like that.
– Parole Models did beat up on Wilfork this week, ousting him from first place. She did leave 23 points on the bench this week though in Vincent Jackson, although who can blame her. A wide receiver for Tampa Bay? I wouldn't start him either.
– Very Tight Butthole got his ass puckered when Jimmy Graham went down with an injury this week. He was to account for around 13 points, and ended up with zero. Butthole ended up losing to Romosexual because of it, so that burns.
Did we miss anything else? Let us know in the comments. And best of luck to everyone, unless you're playing The Okra Patches, of course.