We got off to a finger banging start last week in the 2013 version of the PJD fantasy football league. There was really only one game that was even close as we started things off, while the rest of the match ups looked like the Vikings trying to French kiss a blind kid. Luckily, Week 2 in our fantasy league was better, although only marginally. For instance, on one hand we had what's looking like the best team in the league in Viktor's Weed Guy sneak out a one point win over Parole Models, which was pretty exciting. But then we had The Tread Lightly's get demolished by 29 points in a NFC North-style route.
But that wasn't even the worst part.
No, that distinction goes to the two monkey grabbers in Naked Dudes and Very Tight Buttholes, who TOGETHER put up a whopping 134 points. In our league, I'm pretty sure someone scored 134 points last week, so yes, this is embarrassing. Even worse, somehow Naked Dudes is now 2-0 on this young season, which should tell us – if anything about this year – that fantasy football is a real stupid game and everyone should just play a game of Circle Jerk and see who wins instead. It'd lead to a more legitimate champion, probably.
However, the biggest news out of this week is that I discovered Yahoo! Sports has their only weekly recap that – when factoring in the names from this league – is simply breathtakingly amazing. For instance, let's take a look at the weekly recap overview for Week 2:
SO MANY LULZ. No, Very Tight Butthole WASN'T lucky this week, but very tight buttholes never usually are. BRING THA PAIN.
In other unintentional Yahoo! hilarity, I also came across these weekly notes:
Damn VIKTOR, always dropping things he should be picking up, like WEED.
Other Notes From This Week:
– Naked Dudes and Viktor's Weed Guy are the only two undefeated teams left in the league. Only one of those is legit, so I'll let you guess which one I mean.
– Alternately, The Tread Lightly's and Victorious Secret are the only two teams sacked with an 0-2 record right now. However, this is what you get with such awful team names, so don't worry about it.
– Team to watch is Wilfork on 1st Date. Not because he has a hilarious fantasy team name from five years ago, but rather because he leads the league in points with 222 so far.
– Parole Models appears to have a quarterback conundrum this season, or, at least through the first two weeks. She started Robert Griffin III this week, which was nice, because he netted 29 points. But then she let Michael Vick sit on the bench as he dropped 37 points. In conclusion, best of luck second guessing yourself for the rest of the year!
– PJD's team (The Okra Patches) was very happy to have Skittles (Marshawn Lynch) return and drop 30 points at the running back position. Of course, I still hate Seattle, though.
– Sacks and the City had a pretty bonerific WR tandem this week too, as Desean Jackson and Julio Jones totaled almost 50 points by themselves. Must be nice to have awesome receivers. Or at least a quarterback who can throw to them …
Leave notes on your league's recaps and fantasy implosions in the comments. I hope no one still has Christian Ponder on their roster.