ravens 49ers super bowl

Congratulations to the Green Bay Packers for Not Winning Super Bowl XLVII!

Packers Super Bowl

As the clock finally ticked down to double zeros on Super Bowl XLVII between the San Francisco 49ers and the Baltimore Ravens, the AFC Ravens emerged victorious as they won 34-31. It was a tightly contested game, with the Ravens finding themselves up big to begin the game, only to have the 49ers claw their way back with some dynamic plays from young quarterback Colin Kaepernick. In the end, the huge deficit was too much to overcome, and Baltimore remained victorious, winning this year's Super Bowl, and once again ensuring that the Green Bay Packers would not be called Super Bowl Champions.

Despite not actually playing in the Super Bowl game this year, the Packers were still the favorites to pull out a victory largely thanks to the NFL's completely biased feelings towards them. Rumors quickly spread early Sunday morning that Commissioner Roger Goodell had been meeting privately with Packer officials to plan on giving Green Bay the title as comeuppance thanks to an early season loss incorrectly credited by replacement officials against the Seattle Seahawks. As Baltimore began running away with the victory, however, the deal hit contractual language snags and never came to fruition.

For Vikings fans, that was a victory in and of itself. "I wasn't sure until the time ran all the way out if the Packers were somehow going to swoop in and steal the game or not" said one disgruntled fan in Vikings purple, who was happy to see any of the other 31 NFL teams win except the Packers. "When the lights dimmed and the power went out in the Super Dome in the 3rd quarter, I almost shit myself because I thought for sure some WWE nonsense was going on, and Aaron Rodgers was going to lead the Packers out on the field to claim the victory, Wrestle Mania style."

Even though this sequence never came to fruition, the evidence was planted that something with the Packers was likely to occur, but failed to do so, as a potential last-second deal fell through. "Why else would Clay Matthews be any where near a Super Bowl, unless some cheating was involved?" said another Vikings fan.

In the end, the 2012 NFL season was a success, however, as Green Bay failed to win a Super Bowl. Despite winning it all only two years ago now, it's completely objective to report that the team has greatly under performed by not winning three straight Super Bowls, because Green Bay fans and ESPN will tell you that Aaron Rodgers is the greatest quarterback alive, and Clay Matthews is Lawrence Taylor incarnate. With celestial players such as this, counting the Packers out of a title is a fools errand, even if they're not playing in the game.

But now that the season has finished and a new, non-Packer champion has been crowned, everyone can breath a sigh of relief and revel in the knowledge that the Packers aren't winners once again. Because as Ricky Bobby would say, "If you ain't first, you're last," and if the Vikings couldn't be first, then neither could the Packers.


About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.