It feels like we've been fighting this battle for YEARS, but ultimately in 2011 we learned it didn't matter. I've been a pretty vocal proponent until that point about making sure we – as loyal fans! – did everything in our power to keep Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson off of the cover of the Madden NFL video game, because of conspiracies about a "Madden Curse." But the Peterson went and tore his knee up anyway without being on the cover, I peed a little bit, and life was awful.
Then he had a record setting year after the fact, still not on the cover of Madden, so I don't know what's going on.
Regardless, now Peterson is facing off against the great Barry Sanders to be featured on this year's Madden 25 (Anniversary, not year), and … I don't know, I guess still vote for Sanders?
Listen, don't get me wrong. I love Adrian Peterson. Clearly, a lot of other people do, too. He was one of like 64 old school and new school players that went head to head this year in a fan voting contest to pick who would be this year's Madden cover athlete. Peterson mopped the floor with all of his competition. He beat Robert Griffin III 70% to 30% for Christ sakes! And RGIII is the new poster boy in the NFL. Wasn't even close. In comparison, the Packers representative in this contest, Roid Matthews, only beat some numb nuts in his first opening round, then got out-voted by Andrew Luck. Haha! Matthews is like Gophers basketball. Awful.
But despite Peterson's popularity, I'm just not willing to take the chance that this Madden Curse thing maybe isn't real. I mean, I don't even buy Madden games anymore, so what do I give a shit. But even if I did … So? I have a game with Adrian Peterson on the cover now. Big deal. You know there are forums out there every year that make custom player covers that you can print off for your own video game? Stupid, I know, but these things exist. So just go that route if your hard on is so throbbing for a DVD cover of Peterson. I won't stop you.
Let's not kid ourselves either, though. As much as I – and everyone else in the world, apparently – love Peterson, Sanders is no joke, man. He was a bad, bad, man. If I didn't care about this curse thing anyway, I would maybe vote him in over Peterson on principle alone. He was awesome. But beyond that, maybe you should just vote for him anyway, because … Eh, you never know.
Clearly, the best solution would be to place both of them on the cover, as Daily Norseman suggests, showcasing an old player handing the baton to a new player, in both cases, players that are out of this god damn world. That'd be a solid compromise. But that would defeat the purpose of this self indulgent bracket ESPN is running, so don't hold your breath for it to happen.
However, if Peterson gets on the cover and I find out you voted for him, continue to hold your breath anyway, because you won't be able to breath as I'm holding a pillow over your face as is, so it'll save us all some time. You jerk.