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Adrian Peterson Says Hernia Rehab was a “Cakewalk”

Adrian Peterson had the second best season for a running back in the history of the NFL in 2012 when he finished with 2,097 rushing yards. Craziest thing about that? He did it less than a year after he had tore his ACL, a ligament that – you know – helps his leg move forward and stuff when he's running like a locomotive at morons trying to tackle him. So, essentially, Peterson had the best season for a running back ever on one leg. 

Well, one leg and a hernia. 

You see, Peterson had surgery on a sports hernia back in February. At that time, he revealed that he had played with this hernia injury since WEEK ELEVEN of the regular season. Meaning, he played another EIGHT WEEKS with a sports hernia, putting up some of the best games any running back has ever done. Me? I can barely make coffee in the morning after I've had three beers. 

And for Peterson? He said the recovery from this injury has been a "cakewalk."

Cakewalks? Sounds a little GAY, doesn't it, Peterson?! Kidding!

Purple Jesus magic trick

I think it's safe to say at this point that Peterson is just toying with all of us, right? He tore his ACL in the winter, got surgery, was running by spring and summer, and then throwing poop at NFL records because he thinks your knee injuries are hilarious. 

So what's he do for an encore? Pretty much just naps through hernia surgery. He's already participating in the team's Organized Team Activities this week, and he says he's pretty much 100% already. You know, no big deal. 

But believe it or not, these two things aren't the only amazing physical feats Peterson has overcome, since he's super-human (celestial?) and everything. Check out this list:

– Had Tommy John Surgery between innings while pitching a perfect game in high school. 

– Was with Tony Stark when a bomb exploded, throwing shrapnel towards both of their hearts. Peterson helped Tony build the arc reactor to keep the shrapnel from killing Tony, while Peterson just LOL'd and said, "Nah, I'll be OK."

– When he was a young child, like 3 or 4 or something, he was in a minor plane crash. The oxygen masks came down from the ceiling and before any adult could help HIM get a mask on, he decided to assist all of them. Calmly, of course.

– He was also crucified once and then came back from the dead three days later, in case you forgot about that one. 

Pretty amazing, right? I guess it's safe to assume with another off-season surgery that Peterson is primed to come back for another monster year. Now, we just have to think of how we can "hurt" him after the 2013 season …


About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.