It is now time for the 2010 Minnesota Vikings Mushroom Stampies. The Stampies are PJD’s award show that is full of pomp and circumstance. Last night, on my couch, I ceremoniously awarded several players multiple Mushroom Stamps of Approval (and Disapproval) for the year of 2010. It was a unique season, with many people who put in stellar performances and others who I hope burn in hell because they FUCKING RUINED THE SEASON, GOD.
It was an emotional night with lots of suits, laughter, cleavage, tears and poopy stamps. Without further ado then, I present to you the 2010 Stampies:
First, let’s talk about some things that the Stampies tell us about the 2010 season. One thing that jumps out is that there are WAY too many god damn Mushroom Stamps of Disapprovals in 2010 (that’s what MSoD stands for, genius). I think I counted them right. There should be like ten there for the losses. If you’re confused then why there are so many Mushroom Stamps of Approvals (MSoA), it’s because I award stamps during the preseason and the Bye Week. It’s totally legit, don’t worry about it.
Now, let’s break this shit down a little closer:
– Joe Webb led MSoAs in 2010? Can you believe that shit? Well, he apparently won two of them in the preaseason and of course was awarded the poop stamp against Philly. I find this surprising laregely because he sucks and should never have seen the field. Not sucks, sucks, but sucks as in is a third string quarterback. Whatever. This probably doesn’t count.
– It’s more correct that Purple Jesus had the most legitimate MSoAs in 2010 in the games that mattered. He was a fucking stud in the Lions game in week 3. EJ Also had a huge game against the Cowboys this year, which was totally deserving of his Stampie. 2 INTs off of a broken leg? Yeah, you get it.
– Don Draper got a MSoA award this season because he’s fucking awesome. It was during the Bye Week and no one got fired them so Zygi couldn’t get it, so that made the most sense to me.
– When you look at why this team went down the shitter this season though, it’s easy to see why. , Favre, Childress, and then anyone in the secondary. sucked because he didn’t try but makes more money than Andre Johnson (what the fuck), Childress was the scapegoat for this season clearly, and well deserved, because he couldn’t manage his players or call a game. Ever. Favre also was terrible this year. I kind of wish I would have given him a stamp for every injury he almost died from. Could you imagine how poopy he’d be? He’d smell worse, somehow. It’s be awesome.
All in all, this clearly shows that 2010 was a horrible fucking season and should be remembered as such. It wasn’t anything like last year when there were SO many more Approval poop stamps, actually some overlap (mostly from Favre) for net totals, and where the results clearly showed value players on the team. Joe Webb the most valuable in 2010? Not likely. Maybe next year will be more “Rewarding”, if you catch my meaning.
Anyway, in the end I only feel it’s fair to name 2010’s Mushroom Stamp Winner … PURPLE JESUS!! Hurray!
So … let’s get ready for some Pro Bowlin’?