It probably should be no surprise that professional athletes get free stuff. From love letters to sponsorship products, they probably hardly ever have to go to Target to buy essential items. Me? I’d sponsor a toilet paper brand so I could always get free toilet paper. Oh man, I would just poop so much, it’d be awesome. For our favorite punter on the Vikings, life is no different. In fact, it helps that he’s a talented punter who is also multi-dimensional as an avid gamer, musician and good looking individual. BOY, US GOOD LOOKING PEOPLE HAVE ALL THE STRUGGLES.
This past week was no different for Kluwe though, as he pulled in some headphone swag. Oh, headphones? Beats by Dre, or something? Isn’t that what kids are doing? I don’t know, I haven’t used headphones since I bought a car and had a CD player to list to my own music instead of having to listen to my dad play Huey Lewis on repeat. In retrospect, I shouldn’t have been a dumbass with my headphones in listening to Janet Jackson and instead should have rocked along to “Heart & Soul.” Best song ever? Possibly.
I’m going somewhere with this. Think headphones are weird to get? Well not as weird/awesome as these custom headphone … stickers? Buttons? Tabs? I have no idea, but here they are:
As Kluwe mentions in his tweet about them, they are to identify clearly that these headphones are HIS, where he listens to Tripping Icarus music, and not Kevin Williams’ to steal while he’s suspended. However, I keep thinking they’re Brett Favre’s while he’s listening (and jackin’ it) to Julianne Hough’s newest single. Sick bastard. If you’re anything like me, you’re still really thrown off by the fact that Kluwe is wearing #4 and unfortunately have to be reminded of him whenever you see #4. Weird. Regardless, kind of a cool promotional item to get, and, it got me thinking.
What could the readers of PJD pool together and get him? Just in this past week he’s gotten headphones, ID tags for his headphones, and home-made cookies from some lady on Twitter. And not just any cookies, those look like the sugar cookies with the Hershey Kiss in the middle that I only eat around Christmas time. Do you have any god damn idea how delicious those are? I would skin a cat for warmth just to walk across the street to my mom’s house to get one of those.
But then it hit me. What if we bought him a PJD shirt, specifically, the Chris Kluwe one? Could we all pool together and send it to him? What address should we send it to? What is his size? Would he wear it under his jersey at a game? Could we then auction it off to charity? Would a charity accept donations from a sick blog like this? I know I wouldn’t, so I don’t blame them. But these are all questions I must ask my four readers. If we chip in, it’d cost us like less then $5 each. I’ll even cover postage!
What say you? Or, what other gift ideas do you have that would be better?