What can’t Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe do? We already know he could cure cancer if he WANTED to, but did you know he’s also a published blogger now, too? It’s true! Kluwe recently did some spot duty for a video game website called “Game Trailers,” one of their features called Side Missions which provides gaming news with a view. Like … a view from a window? From the top of an imploded dome, perhaps? It’s really a different perspective on games from up there, you know.
Either way, Kluwe tackled the hot topic of hardcore vs. casual gamers in his post, providing an interesting perspective on the whole debate:
- [While playing Skyrim] … I was looking for the underlying rules governing game mechanics, the ones not made explicitly clear to the player; the difference between a hardcore gamer and a casual gamer.
Underlying rules of the game, eh? Figuring out how this stupid game works, at which point it’s no longer fun to play, right? Well, I think this guy figured out the rules to ONE certain game, and I hate them.
From my understanding of the Kluwe article the main difference between hardcore gamers and softcore gamers are that, once hardcore gamers figure out how games work (how you level up, why you can beat a boss in a certain way, why do you get certain combos during certain actions, etc.), they tend to lose interest in the game. The magic is gone from the game. Softcore gamers? Not so much. They may find out how to pass a level, but never understand why the level was set up that way to begin with.
Let me take a total stretch of imagination now and apply these same rules to football fans in a way that only a blog post that is going to really work to push 500 words can do; Once hardcore fans learn the inner workings of the Vikings, they realize they can never truly enjoy their lives anymore. Right? Think about it:
- Now that Purple Jesus destroyed his leg, I have no faith in this team ever winning another game.
- When I discovered that Rick Spielman was the one who was responsible for most of the drafting for the team, I never had faith in any one of our draft picks. Tyrell Johnson? Chris Cook? GTFO.
- Have you realized that Zygi Wilf is only making moves for this team to get more money and line his pocket? He don’t give a shit about winning a championship, and frankly, neither do I. I just want the team to stick around so I can waste my Sundays like a normal person.
- Is it at all odd that the now-best player on this team (Chris Kluwe) plays football as a side hobby? And the second best player (Harvin) only plays to pay the weed bills? I don’t blame them either. This team blows.
It’s the truth. When you figure out this team’s under-belly workings, it breaks your heart. When you understand that the team put Purple Jesus out on the field in a meaningless season to break his knee up when what we really needed was a loss, it will smack even the most hardcore of fans to core. IT WILL RATTLE YOU. The softcore fans? They don’t care. They could hear about these atrocities and shrug, set their fantasy line-up, and then go watch Wild hockey. YOU BASTARDS.
Chris Kluwe knows it, PJD knows it, it’s time to accept it: Being a hardcore fan will destroy your life and ruin everything you love. In Kluwe’s article long ago mentioned to start this post, he asks “who has it better?” in reference to harcore or softcore gamers. When it comes to fans, this depressed Vikings fan clearly says the fans who don’t have their hearts eaten by tape worm (softcore fans) are the ones who have it better.
*pours shot of scotch, ODs on painkillers, hates life*