You won’t find us talking too much about politics on Purple Jesus Diaries, aside from whether or not the latest republican presidential candidate is boneable, or which democratic senator most recently sex pic’d his cock’n’balls to someone. And TECHNICALLY, this isn’t a discussion about politics, but rather just about voting, and it’s a bit odd, but I’ve NEVER found myself so passionate about a voting topic than I have RIGHT NOW.
The Minnesota Vikings want to know what your favorite uniform combination is for the team, and it is our CIVIC DUTY to tell them their circus outfit sucks unshaven pants gum.
The options listed in the picture above are the ones found for people to vote on on the bottom-right from page of Vikings.com. The question, “What is your current favorite Vikings uniform combo?” is typical, leading political question. Leading because it assumes that I like the majority of these ass smear combinations. The options given to you include fan favorites such as:
Purple Jerseys + Purple Pants
White Jerseys + Purple Pants
and the only real, honest answer, the Throwback Jersey and Pants.
The fact that, upon the time I did my own voting on this future determining poll, the Purple Jersey/Pants combo was winning 32% to 31% over the Purple Jersey on White Pants combo makes me angry enough that I wish these clownish assholes would just up and leave. You want to wear that Grimmace abortion outfit on a football field? Go right ahead, you bastards. I hope you all die and lose and die again. You deserve it for being so kitschy. What’s next, are you finally going to break out the black jersey? Why not just bypass all of this and go straight for the Yellow/Gold jersey? Just go ahead and declare how much you don’t care about the history of a franchise or pleasing someone’s eyes. Whatever! Assholes are going to buy things anyway, amirite gais?!
Here’s the thing. I can’t remember the last time that the Vikings have actually reached out and wanted to hear fans’ opinion on the uniform fiasco. I cannot stress enough how much of a disaster the new uniforms have been. Look at the Packers and Bears. They haven’t tried to get all cute with their uniforms and guess what; they both end up in the NFC Championship game with one of them teams winning the Super Bowl. COINCIDENCE?? Of course not. And these new uniforms are essentially only tied to Brad Childress. Does anyone want to be reminded of that? Not me. I think the answer here is pretty simple.
It’s our duty to vote on the website as many times as you can. It looks like it locks your vote either by IP address or by time. Regardless, we are being forced to take EXTREME measures to ensure that the throwback option comes out on top. Go vote from your home computer, work computer, from your phone, erase your internet cache, borrow your mom’s tablet, your lady friend’s 7 year old laptop, vote from your XBox or Playstation, whatever you can do. WE MUST WIN! GIVE THE VIKINGS HOPE! DO IT FOR PURPLE JESUS!
Not like it matters, because I’m not buying a jersey anyway, but come on. Those throwbacks are the tits.