Thanksgiving! The annual tradition of eating too much, destroying toilet bowls, and watching football all day long! It is the best of the best, the top holiday of the year, and one in which we share with all of you. So let’s remember the REAL reason for Thanksgiving; that without Native Americans serendipitously showing up while a bunch of pasty ass white pilgrims were starving their way through a cold winter, none of us would probably be here, or at the very least, we’d all be Mexicans. Do you want that to happen? Do you want your famous ancestor to be Greg Camarillo?! I didn’t think so.
So let’s give thanks to those sexy Pocahontases and tribe leaders who offered to bring take-out to our log cabins so many years ago, by sharing what all of us are thankful for these days. Check out why PJD and several Vikings players are thankful for after the jump, and be sure to leave your thankful thoughts in the comments afterwards. Also? Stop putting your finger in the gravy without washing your hands. It’s gross.
This year, PJD is thankful for:
- That one time when Chris Kluwe retweeted a “Warcraft Wednesday” post, gaining us a whole five new followers on twitter that day. Score!
- Having a football team in our state that I can then write poorly about
- The four of you who comment daily in the comment section and make this place more enjoyable than if I were talking to myself
- Purple Jesus, who makes this team at least reasonably watchable
- Scotch tastings that help me identify new and glorious ways to get both wasted and spend my money unwisely
- Spotify. I don’t understand why more people don’t use that.
- A Lions-Packers game this afternoon which actually means something.
- Dunkin’ Donuts coffee. That shit is so good.
- Hall & Oates. So thankful. So thankful.
We also heard from several Vikings players this year (no we didn’t) and here is what they had to say about what they’re thankful for this season:
- Tyrell Johnson is happy to have a job
- Chris Kluwe is thankful for video games
- Antoine Winfield is glad he gets to sit on IR an collect a check for the rest of the year without having to put up with this shit
- Chris Cook is thankful that his lawyer is pushing the “self defense” angle
- Brian Robison is very thankful that neither of his testicles have been kicked in to his brain yet
- Christian Ponder is thankful for that pristine moment after a football game when he gets to go into the locker room and take his jersey off
- Leslie Frazier is very happy that the lockout occurred this year, giving him a semi-reasonable excuse for why his coaching sucks so bad
- Kyle Rudolph is glad that he’s white, for some reason
- Toby Gerhart (speaking of) is thankful that at least he got that degree from Stanford, because his future sure isn’t in the NFL
- Percy Harvin is very thankful for his friend, John David Booty, and his amazing supply of weed
- Donovan McNabb is just super happy that Thanksgiving gives him an honest reason to stuff his fat face and not feel horrible about it
Did we miss any? Let us know in the comments.
In the meantime, enjoy the holiday, drink plenty, eat more, shit lots, watch football, and maybe masturbate later. You’ve earned it! See you tomorrow.