So, do you like video games? Cool, me too. Have you played the new NCAA 11 yet? Yeah? It’s pretty sweet, I guess. You know what would be pretty fun? Yup, IF YOU COULD PLAY AS THE VIKINGS IN A COLLEGE GAME BOOSH!
Welcome to PJD’s Minnesota Vikings for NCAA Football 11. It’s on PS3, and I don’t know if I or you can convert this to an XBOX, but if you are currently presented with this dilemma you should probably just go buy a Playstation anyway, loser. I have gone through and meticulously updated uniforms, rosters, player stats, field, stadium, and penis references in this first version of a video game roster download sponsored by a very small website. Exciting, isn’t it!
After the jump we’ll get into more details of how you can download it, as well as what fun little things to watch out for. Also, we’ll take your suggestions for improvements in the comments to make this the best god damn roster for a professional team on a college game out there! Tell your friends!
If you haven’t figured it out in reading this site yet, I’m a bit of a uniform asshole. Specifically, I hate the circus suits the team currently wears and absolutely refuse to buy a jersey in the current design. In fact, I would rather wear a shirt covered in baby poop. I am dead serious. With this in mind, I decided to model the unis in this game after two specific eras of team uniforms. The first is from the Fran Tarkenton days, also seen worn by Adrian Peterson in recent throw back games. It’s sleek, stylish, simple, and kind of makes my wang solid. The away uniform is a classic as well.
The other option is based on the Randy Moss era in Minnesota, where the sleeve stripes sit a bit lower and the television numbers are outlined by a secondary color. Not my favorite, but still better than the current pap smears.
I have created two separate helmet options as well. One is the current horn logo that looks like a tiny sperm, and the other is a bit of self whoring by using the PJD logo which was modeled after the classic Minnesota Vikings logo from the 1980’s. SPLENDID! Oh, and there’s an option for purple pants. …… I …. I’m not sure why I did that.
Field and Stadium:
You’ll notice the the field carries both logos previously mentioned. The horn logo appears at mid field and looks like a LARGE sperm as you run over it, and the PJD logos appear at each 20 yard line. The grass, which was modeled after synthetic turf much like the shitty real life dome is, surprisingly looks spectacular and detailed, even when you have the logos over them. The stadium itself is modeled after the dome which Syracuse University plays in, because it’s very dome-esque. For some reason, the NCAA game doesn’t have a listing the the Gophers stadium, which I may have used, but obviously doesn’t have the Metrodome available at this point either. Whatever. It’s a dome, it’s going to suck regardless. As a final touch, the actual stadium facility is called “Zygi’s Hood“, in reference to the ghetto glorification shown by Visanthe Shiancoe before the Dallas playoff game last year. Finally, for some reason, the helmets look really shiny and weird when playing in a dome in the actual game. I don’t know what the hell that’s about yet.
Some notes about the roster:
-The roster is obviously better than it should be. There’s no REAL shitty players on the team. Is this realistic? No. But I don’t want to play with these guys and lose all the time, so deal with it.
– Brett Favre is listed as a red shirt Senior, because he’s really fucking old, obviously. He was also given the name of “Old Silver Fox”.
– Adrian Peterson is again listed as “Purple Jesus”, but to please the haters I have dropped his ball carrying ability pretty low. Get ready for the fumbles!
– Other nicknames include “White Lightnight”, “Have Mercy Percy”, “Squid Rice”, “The California Cool”, “Ma Fahks Doogs”, “The Twelfth Man”, “Visanthe’s Dongshow”, “Mullet Militia”, “Fat Pat Williams”, “White Linebackers 1-4”, “Guitar Hero” and a couple of others. I’m open to other suggestions.
– Tahi’s awareness is pretty low, however his catching (especially on swing passes) is pretty decent.
– They provided slots for like 14 receivers. There’s a lot of dead weight there.
– TarVar has 99 jumping ability.
How to download:
On PS3, you should be able to go to the game management options, or something, and find a Team Builder icon there. Select that, select the first option that comes up, which allows you to do a search for teams, and simply type in “PJD” in the school name or nickname. This one should be the only one that comes up. Simply download the team and BOOM now you can play as the Vikings. Pretty awesome.
And of course there’s lots more. If you get a chance, check it out. It’s surprisingly fun. You may have to mess around with your depth chart a little bit, as I don’t get to set that myself apparently, but it’s not too bad. Let me know what you think, and again, leave some suggestions on how to improve things in the comments.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go beat the shit out of some college kids. Virtually, of course.